Conscious uncoupling; the right way to split.

Conscious uncoupling; the right way to split. Conscious uncoupling is the right way to split. My readers may have believed I had a conscious uncoupling with them. I apologize. There is nothing else I can say, about my lack of articles or writing. However, I am back. I really want to write about conscious uncoupling. What a great idea. Doesn’t everyone benefit when separating partners make a concerted effort to have a grown-up, non-antagonistic split or divorce? Rather than waste time and money on not getting along, that same time and money are spent on getting along. The world would be a better place. Forgiveness is key to conscious uncoupling. Recognizing that everyone is human and doing their best, however, childish their actions may be is very empowering. The problem is that conscious uncoupling requires two mature adults. It is difficult at best to be mature when one’s heart is breaking. Maybe only the difficult breakups find their way to my desk. Several of the partners I have met acted like 14-year-olds. So what does one do? As difficult as it is, you take the high road. However, when you take the high road you always feel good about it. Modern technology is your friend in conscious uncoupling. I suggest the following steps: 1). Block your ex’s number from your phone- this will block phone calls and text messages. 2). Remove all pictures of the two of you. 3). Block all of his social media. Remember, the old saying out of sight out of mind. That saying is very applicable here. The Journal of Neurophysiology reports that seeing photographs of one’s ex-stimulated the areas of the brain that control motivation, rewards, cravings and addiction. Those are very powerful forces. The desire to reconcile is the strongest around 6 to 8 weeks after a breakup. This might be the best time go on vacation. Another conscious uncoupling tip is to think positive. The Journal of Positive Psychology conducted a study where one group of participants wrote about the positive aspects of past relationships and the other group wrote about the negative aspects of past relationships. The positive group reported feeling more empowered, energetic, thankful and satisfied. Alexandra Katehakis, M.F.T. wrote in the Huffington Post, be kind to yourself and your ex. She further states, be compassionate to your ex rather than invoking revenge, spite or fear. This may not be your easiest choice. However, it is ultimately the one emotion that can see you safely through conscious uncoupling. The first famous uncoupling couple was Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. Paltrow stated, "The idea is to stay married. But if you can't stay married, wouldn't the ideal be that you could still be a family and you could put aside your own stuff long enough to explore — what is this new family and who am I in it?" Paltrow explained. "And Chris is a great ex-husband 'cause he's a very, very willing partner in how to do that. We're constantly putting aside our own stuff and trying to re-imagine something that we don't personally have an example for." They are a true example of how conscious uncoupling benefits everyone. More articles conscious uncoupling in the near future. Please refer to past articles on forgiveness and relationships. Posted by Kimberley Kellogg at 6:09 PM

Kimberley Kellogg

I consider my strengths to be my ability to identify issues and solve problems, that I work well under pressure, and I am intelligent and a hard worker. I may be the most intelligent woman you will ever meet. I am Superwoman. My name is Kimberley Kellogg. I am the mother of three grown children, all of whom I am immensely proud of and I live in a suburb of Kansas City. I practiced criminal defense and domestic law for 13 years. Having earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology from The University of Missouri- Kansas City, a respiratory therapy diploma from Northwestern Medical School in Chicago, Illinois and my J.D. from The University of Missouri at Kansas City (UMKC) School of Law, I just a completeed my LLM at Thomas Jefferson School of Law in the International Taxation and Business Program. Today, I offer CLE presentations on ethics for Missouri lawyers and work as a mediator in Missouri. I also, am an author. I have two books published and I working on my next literary project. The reason I went to law school was so I could help people that were less fortunate and were unable to speak or stand up for themselves. At a time in my life, before advanced health directives, also known as living wills, and the famous Karen Ann Quinlan right to die case, I was employed as a respiratory therapist at a large medical center. I worked months with patients who literally couldn't speak. As a respiratory therapist, my suggestions on advance directives fell on deaf ears, no one would listen to me except for suggestions on ventilator settings. I thought as an attorney I could speak up for my patients. During law school and my practicing law career I had heard about THEM---lawyers who lose their licenses. I never thought I would be one of them. So, how do you or your co-workers keep from becoming me? Maybe you are out of control or you are beginning to lose control? In my recovery from the Superwoman syndrome, I have learned the path is very similar to any program that includes “the twelve steps.” Denial is denial. When the house is burning down; do you recognize this, or simply ignore it? I have worked with the Arizona, Missouri and Kansas Bars to address the issues I had when I practiced law. Those factors will not reoccur. I have worked with a therapist, mentor, AZAL, KALP, MOLA, an ethics coach (John Kurtz) and attended and presented at ethic CLEs. I have attended with permission the Missouri Bar series on Law Office Management. I am not the same person I was over ten years ago. I have worked with a bar group for over five years. I was instrumental in the formation of group meetings in both Arizona and Kansas. I know I cannot undo the damage I did when I practiced. I try to strive to improve the world with kind acts every day of my life, whenever and wherever I can. Remembering the many kindnesses extended to me during very difficult times, I want to dedicate the rest of my professional life to giving back to others in gratitude for all that has been given to me. How do I get people to listen to my story? I start by saying, “My name is Kimberley Kellogg.” Website: http://KimberleyKellogg.com Twitter: kimLegalLady Facebook: Facebook profile

Conscious uncoupling; the right way to split.

Conscious uncoupling is the right way to split. My readers may have believed I had a conscious uncoupling with them. I apologize. There is nothing else I can say, about my lack of articles or writing. However, I am back. I really want to write about conscious uncoupling. What a great idea. Doesn’t everyone benefit when separating partners make a concerted effort to have a grown-up, non-antagonistic split or divorce? Rather than waste time and money on not getting along, that same time and money is spent on getting along. The world would be a better place. Forgiveness is key to conscious uncoupling. Recognizing that everyone is human and doing their best, however childish their actions may be is very empowering. The problem is that conscious uncoupling requires two mature adults. It is difficult at best to be mature when one’s heart is breaking. Maybe only the difficult breakups find their way to my desk. Several of the partners I have met acted like 14 year olds. So what does one do? As difficult as it is, you take the high road. However, when you take the high road you always feel good about it. Modern technology is your friend in conscious uncoupling. I suggest the following steps: 1). Block your ex’s number from your phone- this will block phone calls and text messages. 2). Remove all pictures of the two of you. 3). Block all of his social media. Remember, the old saying out of sight out of mind. That saying is very applicable here. The Journal of Neurophysiology reports that seeing photographs of one’s ex stimulated the areas of the brain that control motivation, rewards, cravings and addiction. Those are very powerful forces. The desire to reconcile is the strongest around 6 to 8 weeks after a breakup. This might be the best time go on vacation. Another conscious uncoupling tip is to think positive. The Journal of Positive Psychology conducted a study where one group of participants wrote about the positive aspects of past relationships and the other group wrote about the negative aspects of past relationships. The positive group reported feeling more empowered, energetic, thankful and satisfied. Alexandra Katehakis, M.F.T. wrote in the Huffington Post, be kind to yourself and your ex. She further states, be compassionate to your ex rather than invoking revenge, spite or fear. This may not be your easiest choice. However, it is ultimately the one emotion that can see you safely through conscious uncoupling. The first famous uncoupling couple was Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. Paltrow stated, "The ideal is to stay married. But if you can't stay married, wouldn't the ideal be that you could still be a family and you could put aside your own stuff long enough to explore — what is this new family and who am I in it?" Paltrow explained. "And Chris is a great ex-husband 'cause he's a very, very willing partner in how to do that. We're constantly putting aside our own stuff and trying to re-imagine something that we don't personally have an example for." They are a true example of how conscious uncoupling benefits everyone. More articles conscious uncoupling in the near future. Please refer to past articles on forgiveness and relationships.